ALAY

You can call me “goro” in short, a graduate of San Beda College had finish taking the course of International Business and Entrepreneurial Management.

I am a type of person that would risk everything to get what he wants no matter how hard or difficult it may be. Cooking with different kinds of dishes would be my past time besides reading and analyzing business concepts. I have retired from sports because of unstable left knee but I use to play basketball, volleyball, badminton and even try American flag football.

When it comes to love life I haven’t found the right person yet or maybe the perfect person did come, but because of my immatureness and lack of logical thinking, the person left me.

It all started when I ask my classmate to give me someone to talk to so he did give me a girl from his list in his yahoo messenger. When I first saw her avatar, my world just stop from revolving it seems like I saw a goddess from heaven so I quickly add her and introduce myself.

At first she ignored me showing me that she’s not interested talking with me so I have no choice but to accept that.

Until one day she has given me her time and had a chance to chat me. That night, my feelings jump start and I was very happy. Then the communication was there then I proposed to her that I would court her, but the only mistake here was, I do still have a Filipina girlfriend, in short “nagtataksil ako” (I am cheating). For me I am willing to leave my girlfriend for her because I can feel that this new one is the right girl that I am looking for after a long time.

At first I didn’t tell her about that but she is very “matalas” (keen) on what she does. Because later I know she had checked my Friendster account and she found it out for herself so that that I have an existing girlfriend and that night I was explaining my side but I know that her trust gone down.

I’ve tried to win her heart and win her trust again and what I did was to maintain the communication everyday that I didn’t notice that I am already eating so much of her time. I was so “makitid” that I didn’t realized that I only think about myself it short “self centered”.

“Nagsisi ako ngayon” (I am ashamed) because through her I learn how to improve myself on how to improve my attitude and how to deal with people the proper way for that I want to say thank you very much for all the things you made me understand.

I just want you to know that you’re the happiest memories that happen in my life besides finishing my studies on time.

I hope that there would come a time that you could give me a chance again to prove that I am the right guy for you, but until then I am always here for you no matter what happen “lagi mo ko maaasahan” (you can always count on me) and “hindi ka na magdadalawang salita pag kaya ko” (I wont make any kind of second doubts and words as long as I can do it).

Through this I can pay back all the stupid things that I have brought you, my only wish is that you can give me a chance to know your little problem … I want you to share your pain.

My only prayer is that you can finish on time and also you can manage all the challenges that you would encounter as the time goes by.

Take Care, God Bless and Stay Beautiful

-GORO-

February 28, 2010

Posted on March 1.

When You are Worth Alive Part II

A short story

It all starts when Cherry realize that she needs a father at the age of 4 in her nursery.

She always looks at other children who had their parents to pick them up.

And then, by looking intimately and closely she didn’t realize that she was being called…

“Ms. Cherry…”

“Ms. Cherry …”

“Miss!”

Then Cherry answered quickly upon noticing that she has been called “ Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you . . . Jillian.” Then Jillian answered, “I’m sorry miss, but we are going home…” “oh alright… we’d better be going home”

By that time, Cherry is always mesmerizing on having a father…

“Jillian?” Cherry says. Then Jillian answered “Yes?”

Cherry answered with a hurry, “Do you know the feeling of, uhmm, like being a kid who had her horseback ride at her daddy’s shoulder?” then Jillian answered it quickly with a shock, “Yes, my father use to do that to me when I am little. Why’d you ask all of the sudden Miss?” then cherry replied “It just made me think of what it feels to be like the children I usually see when it is going home time.” Jillian answered “You miss your father huh?” then Cherry answered with a lonely tone “Yes, I never had something experience like that…”

At night…

“Jillian?” Cherry called, “Are you sleeping?”

Jillian answered “Just half a sleep, what it is Miss and you called up at this time?”

Cherry then answered, “Can I share you something if you don’t mind? It just concerns with the one we are talking about a while ago.”

Jillian, “hmm.. sure, I guess I have all the time to rest for tomorrow, after all it’s Saturday”

Cherry, “alright then”

It all started when my Mama, brothers and my sister told me a story about how great my father was even though he is up right there in heaven.

Did you know that, the reason why my father died is because he is trying to save our lives from the Muslims who invaded our home and took all the money we have when I was one year old… and the reason my father died is because he is trying his best to protect, save and defend what we have, our family. I never thought I was going to tell a story about this but, it is what I always wanted to share and I can’t hold on just by seeing those kids who is playing with their dad, with their whole family.

I feel incomplete… But hey, my mother, my brothers and my sister is trying their best to complete me and standing there to be the father I usually need for me to grow.

Years and years had passed…

And Cherry had successfully graduated High school.. but during graduation . . .

“Looking at the distant sky, feeling the cold wind upon the heights of the highest mountain…”

“Papa, I will always remember you. . . Here in me, with all my heart and soul… I will always Love you.”

I remembered…

Carlisle (big brother), Christly (Sister) and Christian (2nd brother) told me that when I was little, my father would buy me anything that is best for me like a toy or new dress or new stuff. It was like them saying that, hey Cherry your pretty lucky because Dad favors u so much.

Then my mother will say “Your Dad use to hold you so tight, and never let go. Whenever he is at work and he has his hands dirty, he usually uses his shirt to wipe all the dirt away for him to carry you”

Christian always telling me that whenever our dad saw him throwing me in the air, he usually get all the scold and my big brother usually gets the hard discipline by the stick made of wood for not taking care of me and not watching Christian throwing their little sister in the air. And then, our father grabs me and took me away from them… for keep sake and keeping me safe…

So that’s basically it, even though you aren’t with me today in my graduation at least Mama is here for me, with all my effort being paid with all the best award i could ever received in my life is the love of the people around me..

Especially God…

END.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cherry – Protagonist

Jillian – Maid

Papa you will always be here in my heart... forever...

When You Are Worth Alive

When You Are Worth Alive

Sometimes in my life I wonder how life will be if I’m dead.

Sometimes I don’t know if people realize my worth or something… sometimes it is really hard for me than just dream along and be in that dream…

When you are worth alive….

Sometimes in my life, I wonder how life would be if there’s no such thing as my life.

Sometimes I wonder why me, why me… I am already sick of my life for all the problems I encounter.

But still… when I am worth alive …

Now I understand that I need live… for some reasons I still need to finish what I have started.

Knowing is Half the Battle – G.I Joe

I need to live for my friends and family who is always there to support.

TO live for they believe that there’s failure doesn’t count. There always a next time whenever a person fails.

TO LIVE, for GOD always believes that you can always do it in your own perspective ways.

Now... let me tell you a story about my experience today…

There is an activity or a talk that I am so much prepared for.

An activity which I could see the performance of my friends.

A project or an activity to uplift the name of our organization, even if it’s the last thing I can do at the end of my term as an officer in the organization.

An activity I chose to do because I want to do it.

An activity I believe that will be successful for the students and people who builds the organization.

And this project is the last project I handled for the end of the academic year…

It’s kinda sad at first, well we are expecting 200 of people to join us, an Engineer, IT, CS or IS or everyone in the university, but it made me think and realize that it was all a test given by God.

I learned what friendship really means, I learned how to be a captain on my ship, and be at my best stable from start to finish.

It didn’t become successful, but, my friends are all here to support.

You will know who is true to you once you are in a very difficult situation.

No words can ever explain how thankful I am that God has given me friends that will never leave you alone especially when trials come on by for a visit

Lord, I now understand why you destroyed my first plan for the seminar on November 2009, for the IT WEEK… You are testing my Faith… YOU ARE TESTING ME. You are testing my whole being on how I handle problems and how I act on my problems whenever situation arises.

Lord, I Thank You for all the things you have done for me. Many of my close friends told me that I have improve a lot compare to my last semester in the university. Hehe, I didn’t notice it after they have told me. And make me believe and understand to the point realizing that, it was GOD’s doing. You made me sharp, You made me think wise, You made me and complete me with my whole being.

Lord, no words can really express how happy I am for my friends…

When we are at the alarm state, they always there to ask what to do next, and being the project manager of the event, it is really hard to decide … I don’t know why, but God, You are with me… THANK YOU… I atleast made the right decision even if it hurts for me to cancel it.

Imagine, 2months of reserving the exact venue, 1month of preparing for the papers, 3weeks of passing, talking to the heads of the university and waiting is really a very hard thing to deal with. Especially when most of the times I didn’t eat just to finish all the things…

After we cancelled the said event, hehe, believe it or not I am really trying to be at myself.. be at the CAROL state, my mind just turned blank.. But God is really here. HE made all the work after I pray and He manage to talk to the hearts of the people around me…

Those people are my friends, my Family, and those who love me dearly and I love them back too.

THOSE FRIENDS were the friends I treated as one of my family members.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

You don’t know how much I appreciated the time you guys have given to me.

YOU HAD GIVEN ME THE BEST GIFT I COULD EVER RECEIVED! THANK YOU!!!

I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!! THANK YOU GOD! J

WE DID OUR BEST. J WE DID OUR VERY BEST!

Thank you for all those who supported me and my SITE family..THANK YOU VERY MUCH! J

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i thought of doing a blog with the same title last month, but I cant finish the blog... hehe. i dont know why.. maybe i just needed time, the perfect time for me to finish this. :)

Wrote it on February 14, 2010.. experience this on february 13,2010. :)

-CAROL ONG

YOU

When there are times when you feel you’re alone

When there are times when you feel your reason to stay

When there you are roaming along the side of the river

Thinking if there is such thing as we called end

There are a lot of things that needs to be done

There is a lot of reason for it to be done

Yet we find ourselves not finishing the task

For some reason, we find ourselves thinking

Thinking…

Not thinking about what the next plan for the work

But thinking about something that bugs us within the day

For one reason, we must keep going

Why?

Why? Is that a question? Ok... it is…

We must keep going because there are a lot of things that we can use of the time we use in just thinking

Thinking…

May not be the best solution.. but it helps…

One of the reasons why we think long is because what we feel inside

Some of the reason why we think long it’s because of trauma, fear or judgment

But listen to this my friend, you may find yourself thinking outside outer space

But believe me you’ll just end up wasting your time thinking and thinking over and over again…

Thinking can be a good plan at first, but thinking for too long isn’t good anymore

Thinking may be good, but think fast… what matters most is what we do in action not just by dreaming out as if there is no tomorrow or like having the problem like there is no tomorrow

There is… God made “tomorrow” so that if we lose today, we can have a chance to prove ourselves tomorrow and fight once again

But, please consider that expecting there is goodness in tomorrow isn’t the right way to deal in what you are thinking today…

Why?

Yes, you got it right... You thought it right.

See the bigger picture now? What matters most is what you did best, what YOU DID, what you have put action to it, what you consider it done and the like.

What matters most is that you are being you…

What matters most is that you are true to your heart, true to yourself and you are true to Him.

What matters most is what you did best…

What matters most is what you and your soul are happy about

What matters most is what you believe…

Believe what you can do.

Believe that you can do it

Believe that, in every problem there’s an equal solution and answer

Else, void and don’t answer

Simple?

Then, How can you put yourself in that kind of situation?

If it’s not

Who says life is easy or simple?

You just have to be your best… after all no one comes out of this world… alive.

Be your best, be yourself, and be true to yourself

_____________________________________________________________

Note: written on February 8, 2010

I dont know why i have to write this thing...

like, i dont know...

PS it's not a poem... well rather i dont know...

i just feel writing it that way... i dont know...

and, i dont know if it's beautiful or such... i just really dont know.

-CAROLYN ONG

FEBRUARY