Friday, February 17, 2012
SCHOOL
Is school really cool? Or is it not so cool? Hmmm, let me tell you my story why for me school is cool.
I don’t have too many credentials to prove why it is cool or why you should believe me and take this time to read… But, as we all know not all people across the globe has been fully blessed to be able to study from preschool to college, and some say you are already blessed if you manage to get in to High school and even graduate from it.
Grade 1… Yep, Grade 1, when I first graduated from preschool, I told myself can I go home now? Uh, no really, can I stop waking early in the morning now and just not wake up to be able to continue my good sleep? (I don’t know if you guys have some exact experience as mine but, reminiscing the past sure is funny when you remember yourself back then when you just think, act and dream like a child).
Grade 5… The year I started to have failing marks… I sure do have a lot… especially math (oooooh the horror!) okay okay that was too freaky or just too annoying. I got this experience to one of my cousin who just stopped going to school by just saying “I don’t want to go to school anymore!” it gave me some hope that maybe I too can have the opportunity to quit too. But, I never got the chance to say it. My brother is also pissed about my grades back then and it is a trouble for him to go to my school and get my class card with a lot of red-failed-marks. And the only subjects I pass where Science and P.E (well that was a relief… and at least been saved too much of embarrassment). I was a class officer back then (accidentally) for being discovered of being disciplined and quiet, so it is a lot more embarrassing for my class adviser to see these red marks of mine. And, because my teacher is a very nice teacher, merciful teacher and he did not want to waste my year of repeating the year of grade 5, so he let me go to the next stage.
Oh yeah I don’t know if this is even relevant, at an early age I know how to buy and sell and make some cash… (Maybe one of the reason I don’t study much??? I don’t know…)
Grade 6… I started to enjoy school, but I really have difficulties in English and math…. Until our math teacher were replaced for a leave (I don’t know the exact reasons, it is out of the topic anyways) we met this really cool teacher who use to teach in our school. (Honestly my school is not that prestige unlike the other Chinese school in the Philippines, but it did help me for who I am today. Be proud!) My elementary teacher who then had been transferred to the High school department when we graduated where I owe him so much that I had a good foundation in mathematics. Math became so fun… especially in high school…
In Primary or in Elementary or the rest in your life you will get some peer pressures. And these pressures I have experienced of getting used by my “friends”. They go with me not because I’m fun to be with, but simply I got money. But I think now they have matured already and been able to define right from wrong. And as for me, I have been more aware to my surroundings and be able to get matured (not all, but at least at most).
School, it’s been a tough world for me, I got no father to lean on… everyone is busy, no time for me, my siblings where all grown-ups and here I am a kid who don’t have a lot to lean on.
High school, during high school certainly you will be a little bit matured and might even “fantasized” your dream guy or girl at this age. It is fun, at school you get to experience how to have a crush or even have puppy love (Not matured love? Or just “you think its love but it’s not –yet”).
During High school there will be chances for more involvement in life or influences that can determine you for the future (It might be college). Because of the poor information we got in our high school years and I too have some responsibility on my side because I didn’t intend to research for the future or frankly saying information back then were insufficient (In the Philippines 2003-2007 computers aren’t even as famous as today), and sadly my parents and siblings weren’t there for me during those times that I needed some support (lucky are you when you got the blessing for the information for the support by your peers at home).
In high school, you will be developed for the best of you can be for the future (again, it might be college). It takes good influences too, support, friends, teachers/mentors, advisers, etc… and especially God.
Also in high school, you will get to have an experience of maybe having a crush, or someone you like and if that happens that he/she didn’t like you back (well there is two…) it’s either it will become a positive side or a negative side, lucky for me, the person whom my crush likes the valedictorian of their class. And as for me, it turned out pretty cool (for me) during my sophomore. I really like that guy that’s why I wake up early in the morning (as early as possible) to go to school (and it’s like 6:00 am – 6:30 in the morning?) erase the writings in the board, clean it all up, took the initiative to write the things in the board (important reminders, date, next appointed to clean, etc…) I also joined the track and field (I love to run… and that guy use to say He runs and love sports), maybe if I get myself to the track team he will get to notice me. (So what happened next...?) He did notice me, but he was too anxious of it, he really gets mad at me because I sign him up to the track team too (and, I know you’re going to say “FAIL”… IT IS…) so he has no choice but to run as well and after few trainings he quitted and found myself enjoying everyday trainings and slowly getting good at it too. I also joined the Choir, for the passion of singing even though I was really hesitant and afraid to join, so I talked to the choir master (after a long breathe, thinking and the BIGGEST push to myself) and she told me the schedule for the audition. This is also the year I have been failing one of my Chinese class and no one is participating the Chinese singing contest (People, don’t do this at home even at school…) and suddenly it gave me a push to say “Laoshi (teacher) let me join the contest… but pass me for the final exam instead!” it gave her a shock really, I think maybe because I was disrespectful (I don’t even know if it is courage)… and after that I was “what did I just said???”. My crush then saw me at the stage, I was really really shaking, but I was so proud at the same time to make an appearance even though I didn’t won a thing. It’s been the last year for him in high school, and I’m still doing my best for him to notice me. This is also the battle for my English academic class, running for honors (IT IS ONE TOUGH COMPETION I TELL YOU!) Oh yeah, I did fix myself, make my hair long and brush it like everyday (I use to only brush it in the morning after bath. Creepy huh!), and there was this guidance counselor of ours the adviser to one of the clubs I also joined (a club that can help you be a good leader, get outside the box and my most favorite is helping people [charity work], the rotary club for youth [interact club]), she is the project head for the prom night too. And, the prom is getting near; I heard a lot of stories too from my classmate in the Chinese class about the key to get in the Prom “freshman and sophomores aren’t allowed in the prom night”. So what she told me is I need to get close our guidance counselor (freaky… not even my thing I was so shy and sometimes hesitant) and one time I did get my chance to talk to her that if she needs an usher or an usherette for the prom night, I volunteer myself and I am free at that night. I also told her that I am curious too and I do have a lot of dresses to use for the night…. --BINGO! If it weren’t for my friend who is a junior at that time I wouldn’t possibly get in. THANK YOU!
BUT HEY, because I’m shy and being hesitant, I didn’t have the chance to dance with that crush of mine… I ended up crying out of envy that he and his crush were dancing (Oh, this is so childish but you can’t blame me, I’m hurt and was really jealous... a little bit martyr on the side…) didn’t know all along that he do want to have a dance with me… (waaaaaaaaaaa, the chance!) And up to there is no more chance because it’s time to go home (12 midnight, feels like Cinderella?).
Then it was me again, and he broke my heart saying that he has someone that he likes and I did cried a lot.
So I focused and find myself able to graduate high school with the help of the Lord.
I manage to be in the Top 5 (it’s hard!), I also manage to be the best female athlete of the year (oh yeah, the memories of winning and having an injury after the race – ended overjoyed of winning I JUMPED! Poof… fails, naah it didn’t became coco crunch but it did failed haha!), and many more. Again I wasn’t informed about college well and it is still again my responsibility, I should have been much aware for the things I really wanted! (I wanted to take medicine, but didn’t know how. So I ended up writing my parents decision). I usually look to other people and compare myself! NOW THAT’S NOT RIGHT! (And again, without proper supervision for your children, they might take the wrong roads in life… and luckily I got GOD so He did save me for not being too far away in the track of life)
"Life is full of happenings and surprises that is why you should prioritize the things that you think most needed..
Next, Hello COLLEGE!!! Tip: CHOOSE YOUR COLLEGE VERY VERY WELL. It will be your greatest investment and that institute will shape you to the very first day you entered to the very last day you graduated. Make a priority list, from the things that institute is best to your chosen college picks.
It wasn’t easy to pass the exam! I tell you it’s hard. I wasn’t able to go to the school I want (that prestige school where Chinese people enrolled in). I ended up weeping and weeping… But I was so immature that time that I didn’t even take to ask the Lord “What do you want me to learn?” and “What are your plans”. I ended up to the second school of my choice and applied to, it is one of the best school here in the Philippines, it very beautiful school I felt like I’m in Europe. Again, I failed the exams, later I know the things that my parents chose has a quota-course. But, instead of going home empty handed, they had given me lists of programs I qualified from the results of the exam. I push through, and it took me to a long line because it is first-come-first-serve and you need to be very early to get into the line. Good thing, I brought the documents for applying. And there is some crazy idea that I want to study in this school, because I dreamt to be in the Philippine Team, I want to join the track and field team (I always saw them on TV, Including other schools too, and I told myself maybe someday I will be that Athlete I usually saw on TV). And, when I got home I ended up making stories (to hide myself) that I want this computer course, and during these times of the struggle while everything and the environment for me is new, I sometimes have this doubts. The doubts that let me think if God is real, the doubts that I am not really good at studying, the beliefs of having the fear of school –but in reality there is one teacher I don’t really like, because I always get annoyed and she is not an effective teacher for me… Again, it is my responsibility; I should have studied on my own… even if we usually got a load of 24-30 units a SEM. Everything is going wrong, everything is going not according to plan… I didn’t able to get to the track and field team not because I am not capable of; I decline while I was going to get in soon.
"Later did I understand I don't have a purpose in life, I just wake up everyday and eat and go to school with no meaning at all."
For one question: “What am I doing at school anyway?” My answer is “to study”, so I did. I thought at first an Information Technology program in the Faculty of Engineering is “EASY”, “yeah…. RIGHT!”… But noooooooo….. I ate it all!!! For all these foundation of mine in High school I thought math is easy, well it did in some ways but noooo I just have to learn it again… and about… That…. Makes…. Me…. Nuts…. Every….Day…. WARNING…. “HELLO WORLD!” YEHEY IT WORKED!!! NOT!!! Because it is the START OF EVERYTHING! The Start of EVERY pain, problems and difficulty of the THINGs in my life! (OH NO!). Well, one thing is for sure, I cannot do it all without my friends! :) I enjoyed college because of them, the crying, success and be together during academic times, meals and as an officer in the IT Organization.
Again,good influence people,good influence friends... very good influential people and friends (DON’T KILL ME IF YOU READ THIS…. WAAAAAAAAAAA… see you guys in the Races! =p )… (Well you hold and know your life better than anyone else, and this is just me, and I’m not use to large groups).
Crying and thinking about to shift or not to shift to fine arts… My professors encourage me to fight… and my friends are there to give me a boost… and some did say, I started this battle, why not finish it to the last, it’s hard but I managed to graduate college though it became so bloody. I work hard with the help of my friends, thesis mates and our team in the organization… especially God.
You know it's harder than I thought... It's hard to study college, but it is very fulfilling... You will meet a lot of people, give you things that you can't learn inside the four-cornered-room, appreciate them, love them... because you may not know you may found your friends...
Be open for new learning, don't stop... College is hard, Dealing with your classmate or colleague is hard, your studies is hard and getting harder through various subject, different requirement and focus and different projects... and that isn't alone, you may also encounter problems outside the school. But what can you do to change? You can start anywhere, and learn... it's hard at first, you may seem to quit but everything starts there.
Know what, I became angry at Him and turned my back against him. And because of the problems I usually encounter as a student, as a daughter, sister and problems in love. Well most of my problems were handling disappointments whenever I get to study hard and get a really low score. You see, my parents have high expectations to me, as Chinese they usually say “HONOR TO OUR FAMILY or GOOD NAME TO OUR FAMILY” even though in reality I am not happy myself. This is my decision too. I was very blessed that I had the chance to study while others don’t have this kind of blessings. And that is life right? You won’t know you’re alive and you’re capable of doing unless you experienced some difficulty and learn from it. You also won’t learn things unless you are challenged. When you experienced heart aches, difficulty and problems remember it is a challenge for you if you can go to the next stage or remain and learn. But the good thing about it is, you will be wiser for the second time around. Now that is something to be happy about, you learned and charged it to experience!
I thanked the people who walked into my life, my friends, my teachers, my family, and all of the people I met.... And through the teaching of our university that had shaped me well, for without the foundation of our school I may be too arrogant till now. Today, I am proud to say, I am "humble" not too much, because you might not believe me. haha... peace! ^__^v Also, during my college days, I learned to be CONTENTED.... how? well... read more I guess. :) (some thing weren't given to us so that we can be disciplined and not to boast and be arrogant).
Without everything you just experience, life has no purpose.
God walked into my life and open the doors for me for greater opportunity –the opportunity to be saved. (I don’t know if it is my chance or by fate but…) When I was out to buy my painting materials, I accidentally nudge the book as I passed by the counter to pay my bills. And there, the freaky thing is, there is this question on my mind throughout the day and that is one of my problems. I took the book and read it, because the cover is really beautiful but strange. The first thing I read about when I flipped it somewhere the pages near the middle and I was really shocked how the book knew my struggles. And I looked into the title page again and saw my painting, and just another curious-kid I read it in front, it says something about not an accident that you are holding this book. That book is Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. Read it, and then you’ll know more about your purpose and your life.
This is my very own experiences. Some say I was blessed, some say I’m not, some say they envy my life and some say my life sucks. But this is my life and in everyday journey we have our own problems and stories. Might be in a different scenario and story but the problem is just the same to how we are capable of and what we entered in our life. It is best to be just thankful on what we have, especially when you are reading this whether from your computer then you are very blessed enough.
Through my Journey, God had guided me with all my everything, my professors, teachers and mentors have all guided me and taught me a lot… My friends, sometimes we screwed up, but look, they stayed. Had fall in love, been happy and got my heart broken over and over. Had almost lost my faith in life, had been merely criticize and put me down by my own mother, still family is family. Struggling alone when no one is supporting at home is hard and not gaining independence too. But life is a cycle, sometimes you’re up and you’re down, the important thing is how you reacted, fought it and deal with it. Did you get angry or dealt with it through positivity? One important I know is, by being yourself and learns from your mistakes because YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN, YOU GET MISTAKES, now it is now your job how to HANDLE IT. If you have some goals or dreams, get your dream and start there. PERIOD! No matter what people tell you, no matter people let you down, you hold your own destiny and decision. You may not handle everything and sometimes there are things you can’t handle in life, TRUST GOD AND LIVE IT ALL TO GOD.
There is one life and that One life is yours to create.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. -Deuteronomy 31:6
Most of the person who didn't able to graduate or didn’t get the chance to graduate they say life would be much easier if they have graduated and have a more decent job or in short they want an easy access to money making. Let me tell you, whether you didn’t get the chance to graduate whether it is Elementary, High school or College, the important thing is to continuously have an open mind and seek for learning.
I did think of quitting school, but if I were on your shoes, what if you quitted do you think you will be able to graduate? Well, I think, life’s battle is not about school or the degree that you hold; it is your perseverance, patience and faith that has been tested. And, it is not about the school, it is about you on how you handle your goal and vision in life.
Many of the people I usually talked with told me that they quitted school because of they are lazy to wake up every morning and is not happy anymore at school, but now look at them, how they regretted that they even not pursue their college. Different people, different stories, same pain…
As an average student and most student who had a difficulty in studying (if not given the chance to quit) will eventually be happy and get use to studying and eventually might find themselves in the long run when they reach their comfort zone.
That is only my opinion, but again, it is you who hold your life. Having this kind of opportunity or chance when you can able to graduate is a choice. And, for me, studying or learning is not about getting a degree, getting to impress people or for your rank but honestly learning a lot and knowing is a gateway for OPTIONS.
And once you know a lot, you will get to understand life better for different point of view and angle.
I am once a failure, I’m still who I am… but I’m stronger now…
A lot of people believed in me when times I don’t believe in myself, and knowing that this is something positive they believe for me, then why can’t I believe in myself too? Sometimes as a person we need sympathy, especially when we are down and then those who are really true to you will help you get you up, push you up even if they are really busy with their own problems… (See the small things now? They are blessings usually in disguise and most of the time we won’t appreciate –until its gone). Problems? You aren't alone!
People believe in you because they know you can even if some others don’t, that became an influence for you not to believe in yourself.
I don’t know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please anyone else.
Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty and pointless…
In life, it doesn’t matter whether we come from different worlds… we’re always been comparing ourselves to other people... In fact they are human too, who makes mistake, fails and Succeed.
Believe in yourself, be you!
Let’s look for a tomorrow that is better than today!
Don’t disappoint the people who believe in you!
FIGHT!
If you don’t act, nothing will start
And one more thing, “THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN ANY OF THIS!” Why? “Because this life is a preparation for the next!” “Life is only temporary!”
The joy and sadness you have now will be gone too, and what you are experiencing right now whether you are happy or not, it is only temporary… Everything here is temporary…
But, if you start now, you might change it for eternity.
You know who you are and what you are capable of doing.
I dont know your experiences guys, but this is mine... Care to tell some of your stories in the comment box. I LOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS AND EMAILS!
GOD BLESS YOU!
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
-Romans 5:3-5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the LORD and shun evil. -Proverbs 3:5-7
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
-Thomas A. Edison
______________________________
Is School really cool?
So why did you entered school?
In life, it doesn’t matter whether we come from different worlds… we’re always been comparing ourselves to other people..
Believe in yourself, be you!
Let’s look for a tomorrow that is better than today!
Don’t disappoint the people who believe in you!
If you don’t act, nothing will start
-Cassiopeia Ting
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2 comments:
Failing school subjects wasn't the worst feeling in life, but rather failing your expectations
#foreverHurt
thats true.... :)
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