When I feel like dying

When I feel like dying

There are many circumstances and measures in life that can be a reason for me to quit especially when there are things that you wish and what you wish you didn’t get. Many had happen in my life when there are some challenges at first I didn’t expect I will surpass it and pass the test that had given me. Sometimes, I would think about God and all about Him… and be the reason of asking “God? What are you thinking today?” and may find the best answer to just look over the bible and point it out of nowhere while I close my eyes.

There are many things in life that sometimes every single person in this world experience the things that needs to be done has been accomplish then later that person will ask “Is it over?”, “Am I ready to die?” , “Will I be dying now?” or “Will I still be here later?” then that person will think again and might say “some thoughts huh?!” and then that person will be very depress later…

Then I asked myself, “Do I have a problem?”… “Some thoughts huh?!”

Then I realize…”WAIT! My problem is that I don’t have a problem???”, “Come to think of it… it is a big problem?!”

Then, one day, a friend of mine told me sometimes it is best not to think, not to have something to do, not to have those problems, not to have so many things to do… not to have so many things to finish… Sometimes, a person needs to rest and find rest BIGTIME in the present world and not in the imaginary world called DAYDREAMING or the other side of the world called HEAVEN.

There’s no such thing as PEACE if you don’t find it yourself!

There’s no such thing as REST if you can’t do it yourself!

And there is no such thing as PROBLEM if you don’t MAKE THE PROBLEM OUT OF IT…

Sometimes in this kind of world, we humans must know how to deal with our present life, deal with the problems behind it and come to think of a solution… if there is no such thing as we called “Solution or Answer” then simply MARK X and DON’T ANSWER it because half on the go or by solving it without any solution you just wasted half a way of your time BIGTIME!

But…

Yes, you may learn something... BUT HELLO! You should have thought about it?!

In this kind of world, sometimes in this part of my life I think about my purpose and what should I do next… When I feel like dying… is just an empty crap of thing of a thought…

Mesmerizing in the deep shallow room with any discomfort of what’s going on and what is really happening in this world…

Sometimes, people can always ask right?

But… is there really a right answer in every question?

Or is there really a solution in every problem?

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The feeling of wanting to die… is so damn difficult to explain!!!

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Is this because I am tired of life and I am tired waiting for things or happenings that I realize it can never be given to me. Or it is just something that even time can’t choose me. For a person who is very ambitious with full of dreams rejection and failure is very hard to swallow compare to pride.

-Cassiopeia

March 24, 2010